A very very late post for March 27

As requested by a moody ghost, please let's appreciate this post from way back in 2012, March 27

Just a couple of Gaiman quotes together with a poster of Ramadan, one of the stand alone stories in Sandman which I really love.

https://houseofjoyce.blogspot.com/2012/03/enter.html

Please visit the link and let's walk down the memory lane <3

PS, I hope the ghost will be satisfied and happy now ^^

Notes to the otherside 018

I am writing to you from our kitchen. I was exiled from my upstairs bedroom because it gets so hot in my bedroom from 11am to 5pm, my dad and mom decided to ban me from going up during the said times. They said I should stay in the kitchen for the duration mentioned above to keep me from having a heat stroke, so I am staying here with some of my journaling stuff, notebooks and phones and some reading materials.

To those who celebrate, Happy Easter!

To those who know the katabasis of the Greek Mythology and eventually Roman Mythology, then we know that we are in the middle or possibly the end of journey of Persephone from the Underworld to the good old Mother Earth, where we dwell. 

To those who watch Studio Ghibli, I liken the katabasis of Persephone to the story Spirited Away which I believe is a journey of Return to Innocence.

Persephone's anabasis (travelling up) is a yearly journey which transforms the Queen of the Underworld into Kore, the maiden again. We may call it resurrection, rebirth, or return to innocence as we remove and erase the old and we now birthed the new. Especially in Persephone's case, she has a new identity and even a new name, Kore, the maiden.

So, on goes the time on goes the time.

The path of grief is never done and our maiden is now walking the universe of grief again, getting fresh flowers for her bouquet of grief again which she will bring to the secret mysterious place where she will meet Hades again.

Anyway, let's have a good reflective Sunday. 

New moon is just around the corner.

To my one and only darling

Morning my darling H, I love you and I miss you

💜💜💜

Diary entry as of 16:14

Hugs my lovely moody H🥰

Diary entry as of 19:17

Yes let's calm down, my darling

Just calm down 💜

Diary entry as of 10:24

I love you my monster

Saturday Comments and Questions Live Episode 1

Good day my loyal online guests from whichever realm you all come from

Welcome and good day

I am now doing this segment of my blog where I would like to throw some greetings, comments and questions to the void every hour or so, possibly to clear my mind off or just to make things a little bit easier to digest and absorb, since most of the time I find myself in this thick black smoke and almost palpable darkness, you can cut a knife through it. So, here my lovely audience/readers, permit me to post these questions in my blog and maybe if you feel a bit helpful then you can answer me or just throw a little loving gesture of greeting or sympathy.

Okay, let's begin the questions, comments, greetings, discussion etc

(1) To my frequent online visitor from HK, good day, thanks for your kind attention and I dare not interrupt it, welcome to my blog, I hope you are enjoying reading my entries from 2011, I know you might see the difference in how I write now from how I wrote a decade ago, haha!

Anyways, I share a lot of life events here in my blog and I also share some pictures here, they are truly part of my life experiences. Though sometimes you linger so much that I am worried you know me so much by now, so I hope you can also share a part of you since I love knowing about my audience/reader. Thanks and hope you find more interesting entries, thanks again.

Timelog: 10:18

(2) Okay, so the picture that was taken on 02/24/2012 was with my high school friends and my ex-bf from the University. That was in a Mediterranean restaurant, I remember the oh-so-healthy pizza 💖

It was when I presented Masa with my then high-school friends who unfortunately lost touch with now. I guess that's what happens when we grow up, we just lost touch with our once treasured friends, but the memories and pictures remain. It was a happy picture bec everyone seemed to be getting along fine.

Timelog: 11:43

(3) Yes, of course I love Mary Grace cake! Yum and of course, the company is more important. I shared a lot of birthday cakes with my best friend and I plan on sharing more and more with her 💜

Timelog: 13:46

(4) I am now relocated to the kitchen room. I brought all my notebooks with me along with my phones and other reading materials, it is hot upstairs, like pugon so my parents invited me to come down and asked me to stay in the kitchen :) I am near our dogs, Nupi and Pia 🥰

Anyways, I like this change of scenery, it is not spacious but it is cooler and more conducive to thinking and resting and relaxing. 

Back to the demand of some online guest from HK, that picture taken in 2012 was when my ladies and I watched the Manila run of The Phantom of the Opera, it was magical and awesome. I love every moment of it, and the cast was incomparable.

Again, I thank my parents for inviting me downstairs, I guess I will spend many afternoons here since El Niño at summer season is going to linger for a while.

Timelog: 14:26

(5) The cat stares back, that cat was my model cat when we were still living in our old childhood house. We had a big extra space for plants in front of our house, sometimes kittens and cats lounged around that area. We live creekside so it was not so hot and the flowing water sound made my sleep very deep and lovely.

But beware, the creekside becomes a giant flood of rushing waters during typhoons, so don't underestimate the quiet, unassuming creek. Anyways, yes the grey cat was one of the usual cats who visited our house yard, so it was during my visit when the leaves fall that I snapped this nice shot. I love the foliage and the cat seemed so content in the middle of twigs and leaves.

Timelog: 15:06

(6) Lauren and I in matching flowing skirts and fit tops with alampay and handbags. Haha really funny matching outfits. Neither of us planned anything esp in fashion style on that day. Actually we met accidentally or did we? But all in all, we met at The Chocolate Kiss to celebrate her birthday and then we had a long day of catch-up.

I miss those days of just lounging around BNA, hay good old days but life is so different now, so what can I say, just nice memories of yesterday.

I guess she already had a Whang-Od tattoo there. Funny, that it was already a decade ago but in my school some teachers are still just getting excited to be inked by her (Whang-Od) but of course it is an honor to be inked by a legendary woman although I know I am not brave enough to go through the inking process, yaiks. I just celebrate my friends who did and I commend their courage.

Timelog: 16:08

(7) The song Chain of Love by Leslie Duncan is a classic. I love the theme of friendship and how it relates to me and my experience within my group of friends, most of them are not in Manila/Ph anymore, we haven't kept in touch too, that's sad but that's life. I hope someday we will meet again and touch base.

(8) The entry about Music filled life, yes. It was one of those times when I was so inspired to write an entry about giving music a deeper kind of appreciation esp since there was a new guy in my life at that time 🤭

I like how he made me feel. But of course it was just an infatuation but he asked if I want him to become my bf, I was in a very weird position in my life at that time, so after a lot of thinking and measuring and weighing, I said yes. The relationship sadly didn't really blossom, only just for a while, and it was mostly an ldr.

I love visiting that kind of in-love feel entry in my blog 🥰 feels like I am capable of really writing about my feelings before. I am not so sure about now though.

Timelog: 17:10

(9) Ladies Talk nights, argh, I miss it a lot 💜 we also explored a lot of restaurants but of course it was the company that made it so memorable. The talks were crazy, of course most of them are about men 🥰 secret fantasies about men ☺️

(10) Walang Hanggang Paalam, of course Joey Ayala, a classic song! The ultimate love song for someone we know we can never say goodbye to. It is like the national anthem for unrequited love. The music the lyrics, awww, bittersweet song that plays to your unrequited person who will be in your mind and heart and soul til you breathe your last 😭

Timelog: 19:37

(11) All the SO messages, yes of course it is about my SO 💜💜💜 my one and only SO

(12) Moods #8, basically my question up to now, how will my SO and I move forward and lay solid foundation in our relationship? My SO isn't even around anymore, oh well.

My devotion

Dear H,

Please stop messing with my mind. 

I love you and I miss you every single minute 💜

But please stay in your realm and I promise to think about you every single moment while we are apart

I am always going to be longing for you

You have my loyalty and devotion and my heart every single minute 🥰

Yours forever

J

Let's remain quiet

...and pray for the departed

...and pray for those we love who we cannot see

...and pray for everyone going through trials

...and pray for peace and safety of everyone

Moods #58

Let it be | The Beatles

Whisper words of wisdom, let it be

***

Yes, this is a mad mad world, and yes we don't have skin and yes, everything is hitting us from all directions, all at once. Everything all at once. Keep yourself calm, let wisdom lead the way, all the time.

Let it be ~

Moods #57

My Old Man | Joni Mitchell

He's my sunshine in the morning
He's my fireworks at the end of the day
He's the warmest chord I ever heard

*

There is no song in Blue (album) that I don't like at all. That album is a masterpiece and Joni Mitchell will always be my music/song priestess. She talks to the soul directly, pure art, pure sincerity, pure love and pure pain. How can someone who writes this song from even before I was born exactly know what I want to say from deep within my soul? How can she create those melodies that help born the words from deep inside?

I rest easy because I know Joni has felt so much and she makes me feel that feeling too much is not insane and is not bad at all. We need to feel and we need to surrender to our emotions.

This full moon, let us surrender to the music of our soul.

A personal message to someone who died ~ please stay quiet, I pray for peace for your soul.

PS, no more friends suggestion from any socmed account! You are getting scarier!

Notes to the otherside 017

Diary entry as of 2:38

Hugging and cuddling my H💜

Diary entry as of 4:30

Missing my H💛

Diary entry as of 7:03

Cold morning brrrr

Diary entry as of 8:50

I am so tired, I just woke up

Diary entry as of 9:01

Love love love you H🥰

Diary entry as of 11:50

Dry and warm today

Diary entry as of 12:10

Journalling

Diary entry as of 15:58

In and out of sleep, weird dreamsĹ

Diary entry as of 16:42

I wish to invite my online guest for a cup of tea and coffee sometimes 🍵🫖☕️🥧

Diary entry as of 17:35

Hugs 💜💜💜

Diary entry as of 19:02

Quiet night 💛

Diary entry as of 19:11

Full moon countdown is on, as well as the march to the upperworld, though I had a quick glimpse of it 💜 but on goes the time, on goes the time

Diary entry as of 20:18

Missing H hour by hour

Diary entry as of 21:40

Goodnight, love, goodbye

Such sweet and bitter pain, but time goes on and on and on ~ 'til we meet again my invisible stranger

Notes to the otherside 016

Diary entry as of 3:34

Morning H💛

Diary entry as of 4:15

Cuddles and hugs please

Diary entry as of 5:36

Hugs 💜💜💜

Diary entry as of 6:46

Preparing to leave the house

Diary entry as of 7:53

Walking with mom to get her bfast

Diary entry as of 8:10

Bus

Diary entry as of 9:07

Cloudy, not so hot

Diary entry as of 9:40

Manila Manila!

Diary entry as of 11:25

Visiting UP

Diary entry as of 14:55

Going to BB

Diary entry as of 18:42

Near home

Diary entry as of 19:03

Hooooooome

Diary entry 20:25

Hugging my one and only H💜

Diary entry as of 22:38

I want to hug H all day and all night

Notes to the otherside 015

Diary entry as of 3:10

Morning morning H🥰

Diary entry as of 6:33

Hugs and cuddles H💜

Diary entry as of 8:03

Office and working

Diary entry as of 12:52

Recharge and then proceed again

Diary entry as of 13:04

ooooh 13! love love love that number

Diary entry as of 15:15

Is the online guest single?

Diary entry as of 17:19

March, and we march on and on and on, full moon coming soon my dears, my loves

Diary entry as of 17:58

Time to go home, finally long weekend

Diary entry as of 19:15

Hoooooooome

Diary entry as of 20:40

Time for new journaling ideas 💕

Diary entry as of 22:37

Does someone want to receive a snail mail or postcard?

Notes to the otherside 014

Diary entry as of 2:21

Morning h

Diary entry as of 3:33

Welcome online guests from other countries 🥰

Diary entry as of 5:53

Hugs H💜

Diary entry as of 6:24

Life goes on and on and on

Diary entry as of 8:12

Office and working

Diary entry as of 8:47

Down and drowning, out and cold, but still here, still breathing

Diary entry as of 9:28

Going to the big office

Diary entry as of 10:34

Back at the office, work work work

Diary entry as of 11:07

Ooooh 13! Kakakilig! 💖

Diary entry as of 11:35

Hugs hugs hugs 💜💜💜

Diary entry as of 12:23

Sometimes when we love monsters, we get used to their evil mood swings and tsunami-high intensity

Diary entry as of 13:07

💓

Diary entry as of 13:30

Love you my lion 💗

Diary entry as of 14:19

I don't mind not knowing what I'm headed for, you can take me through the sky / It's like being lost in heaven, when I'm lost in your eyes ~

Diary entry as of 15:20

If someone invites me out for coffee, should I say yes?

Diary entry as of 17:55

I want cuddles and hugs please

Diary entry as of 19:28

Hoooooome and still tired

Diary entry as of 20:43

Sleepy but still working

Diary entry as of 21:16

Sleepy, night

Notes to the otherside 013

Diary entry as of 3:23

Morning H💜

Diary entry as of 4:20

💜💜💜

Diary entry as of 6:35

I keep keep bleeding, I keep keep bleeding in love 💔

Diary entry as of 8:19

Tide is high but I'm holding on 😓

Diary entry as of 8:53

Keep flowing

Diary entry as of 9:02

I'm in love with a monster | Fifth Harmony

He'll buy me a thorn before he'll buy me a rose /Be covered in dirt before I'm covered in gold

He's trying it on, yeah, he's ticking me off / Say what you want but I won't ever be told

'Cause I'm in love with a monster

Diary entry as of 10:00

Blood is life and life is blood

Diary entry as of 11:15

Intense, the energy never lies, always always intense

You need to learn to ground that

Diary entry as of 12:10

13th Note! wow

Diary entry as of 13:24

Hugs H <3

Diary entry as of 14:53

Shifting, changing, transforming

Diary entry as of 15:35

Somehow, a light to put some clarity in murkiness

Diary entry as of 19:57

Hoooooome

Diary entry as of 21:31

Night my lovely h 🥰

Notes to the otherside 012

Diary entry as of 2:06

Morning my h 💜💜💜

Diary entry as of 4:36

Hugs and cuddles to my one and only

Diary entry as of 8:20

Monday bloody Monday, why oh why, my body, why oh why!

Diary entry as of 9:58

Flowing, flowing, flowing

Diary entry as of 10:20

I don't like to be rushed, someone from Hong Kong should know that by now. I demand that this person/online guest from HongKong to reveal himself/herself just before the moon becomes full since the demands are getting higher and more intense as days go by.

Reveal yourself or if not, then no more diary entry updates.

Diary entry as of 12:25

Is there any decision from the said online guest?

Diary entry as of 14:16

Does brave mean I have to learn to talk to the dead?

Diary entry as of 15:22

This blog is really magical and mysterious 💜

Diary entry as of 16:00

Still, I request for revelation, true and real! We have a time frame, before the moon becomes full this lunar cycle, please take it seriously.

Diary entry as of 16:39

The truth is not always beautiful; nor beautiful words the truth - Lao Tzu

Perhaps imposing a time frame is not plausible, okay okay, then reveal when it is time to reveal

I have no business or control or power over the mysteries and magic of this blog, I am but just a witness

Diary entry as of 17:46

I have to bleed flowingly, so I need to rest and relax and be kind to my body

Diary entry as of 22:39

Night

Notes to the otherside 011

Diary entry as of 5:04

Morning to my one and only h 💜

Diary entry as of 11:06

Hooooooome

Diary entry as of 13:22

Cultivation 

Diary entry as of 18:53

💜💜💜

Diary entry as of 20:04

Hugs and cuddles to h

Notes to the otherside 010

Diary entry as of 4:37

♡♡♡ i love you h ♡♡♡

Diary entry as of 9:27

💜💜💜

Diary entry as of 11:12

I am busily doing my journalling

Diary entry as of 15:02

Sleepy and journalling

Diary entry as of 17:01

Keep on sleeping and waking up

Diary entry as of 17:55

Online class

Diary entry as of 18:23

Life is a mess. I am a mess.

Diary entry as of 20:13

My journal is looking prettier 🥰

Eternity

This, up here is why we love

Moods #56

Spoliarium | Eraserheads

Ang lahat ng bagay ay gumuguhit na lang sa 'king lalamunan

Moods #55 Tears just keep streaming down my eyes last night

Дорогой длинною

(The Road is Long)

Days are running, sadness multiplying,

It's so hard for me to forget the past.

Somehow, one day, my darling,

You will take me for a ride, my last.

***

The English rendition not necessarily a faithful translation of the lyrics of the song, was sung around 1968, same melody but very very different lyrics. The original song was called a Russian Romance Song entitled The Road is Long, sung around 1925-1926.

It must be my hormones, but whenever I click the mezzo-soprano Marie-Anne Izmajlov videos, I just really cry. Tears just keep on coming and coming. Must be her powerful voice, presence, interpretation, she just blows me away.

Anyways, I need to grab a tissue or hankies whenever I listen to or watch her perform, bravo!

Notes to the otherside 009

Diary entry as of 12:22

I love you H, I am sorry I fell asleep

How's my H doing?  🥰

Diary entry as of 1:28

Big tight hug please

Diary entry as of 3:43

Big cuddles too

Diary as of 4:17

Kissing my lovely nightmare!

Diary entry as of 5:31

Starting the day again, my love 🥰

Diary entry as of 6:48

💜💜💜

Diary entry as of 8:04

Office, work again

Diary entry as of 15:35

Hugs my H

Repentance and Vows

Finally, I know my three personal vows and they have gotten clearer and clearer.

I could finally make genuine and authentic vows with direction, breaking free from the chains of murkiness and wrong decisions from youth. I have lived the last 15 years in excess and in satisfying desires ~ especially about seeking wealth, spending most of my time sleeping or resting, quenching physical needs, not fully living up to my commitments and responsibility, running away from responsibilities once they become too heavy and unbearable, not following up on my vows - they are just promises not fulfilled.

Looking back and reflecting on my past, I was not so proud of it, I was damaged and sick (emotionally, physically, psychologically, mentally, spiritually) seemingly unworthy. I started an ideal in my mind, expectations that I grew inside my mind and my body and my soul; setting up goals from a very worldly perspective. The world of achievement, social recognition, fame, not knowing that these dreams and goals are not really worth having in the long run.

It took a long time to realize that I was sick (soul-sick, psychologically and mentally and most of all spiritually) and that I didn't realize I needed a community to save me and heal me, but life is very kind and faithful and loving, those woes I have recognized and even haven't recognized are known by life, each and every single one of them. So, in the deep darkness of ocean of sickness, I flailed, I tried to swim but then I drowned and then in the darkness, I was so lost and confused. Turning my back on the dream that really didn't support my development as a human being. Then as the dream vanish, my direction also vanished.

Maybe my parents' prayers and support really work. I found Tzu Chi or should I say Tzu Chi found me. I am very blessed to be given a Spiritual Master. I am very blessed. Finding a very strong spiritual support is my blessing and I will forever and eternally be grateful to their strong solid support. Finding Tzu Chi is just the beginning of my healing. Just maybe the start to half of the story. Of course, there is the process of healing and oh my, did I fail every time in fulfilling my obligations and responsibilities!

The lifestyle of Tzu Chi was something of a big life adjustment to me. Very very big adjustment. I was under the care and supervision of my achi. Being a very stubborn young woman, I never listened to her and never really paid much attention to all her guidance and direction. Looking back, I was ashamed and filled with self-disappointment. I really wasted my opportunity in valuing her guidance. I was terrible. I couldn't even go to work for a full week and most of the time I clocked in late. My respect for time and punctual-ness was not there in my early 20s, I was polluted by mindset and poison of college-centric ego. 

I didn't even know how my achi got the strength and patience to welcome me in the office when I got there late or when I came back from long habitual absences. I know the feeling. I know the darkness. I know self-doubt and I know being irresponsible. I admit I was that bad before. I deeply deeply repent to my achi for breaking her trust and for breaking her heart, all the time.

I also didn't finish all the tasks given to me. I just disappear. I just didn't listen to her at all. I didn't have self-respect, how can I expect people to respect me? But my achi, in all her kindness and saint-like patience, she kept on accepting me again and again.

So, yes one of my vows and repentance is about her. 

I deeply deeply repent for letting my challenges get the best of me. I deeply repent for all the promises that I didn't deliver. I deeply repent for all the promises that I have abandoned.

Then I vow that I may have the same virtue in keeping the saint-like patience and trust and care to all the people going through heartache, soul-ache, sickness in all its forms. I vow that I may have the virtue of holding on to faith and love when life gets dark and heavy.

Notes to the otherside 008

Diary entry as of 1:56

Happy day to my one and only H 💜💜💜

Hugs and cuddles all day for you 🥰

Diary entry as of 2:17

I love you, H 

Always and eternally 💕

Diary entry as of 4:01

Missing H every single second

Diary entry as of 4:55

I hope we can share a cake and some tea/coffee in your special day 🥰🎂🍵

Diary entry as of 5:41

Kissing my nightmare

Diary entry as of 6:24

Squeaky clean 🐧💦

Diary entry as of 8:28

Office but busy

Diary entry as of 8:49

Maybe I will have a slice of carrot cake, it is one of my favorites. How about you, what cake would you like?

Diary entry as of 10:02

How is my nightmare doing? <3

Diary entry as of 10:45

I love veggie sisig from Vege Select yum yum

Diary entry as of 11:49

Deep end of the waters

Diary entry as of 12:35

Keep swimming, swimming and swimming and then make vows

Diary entry as of 13:42

In the deep ends of the dark waters, there is the purification, only those who can venture through the deep dark waters can experience the purification

Diary entry as of 15:00

I have soy milk!

Diary entry as of 15:38

This week is really full of adventures!

Diary entry as of 17:24

Wow, still very busy but I have food in the house <3

Diary entry as of 17:54

Another day closing, a prayer and thanksgiving for all the guidance 

Diary entry as of 19:22

Hooooome

Diary entry as of 20:44

Still working

Diary entry as of 21:18

Wow finally, the work day ends!

Notes to the otherside 007

Diary entry as of 2:54

Morning my nightmare

Diary entry as of 4:08

💜💜💜

Diary entry as of 6:27

Going to work

Diary entry as of 7:28

Busy day today, hugs

Diary entry as of 17:31

Finally done with big work, going back to office now

Diary entry as of 18:25

Leaving office soon

Diary entry as of 19:16

Hooooooome

Diary entry as of 19:51

I miss my nightmare so much

Diary entry as of 20:38

Cuddles and hugs for H

Diary entry as of 21:00

I love you, my nightmare 💜💜💜

Diary entry as of 22:06

Good night, my lovely nightmare

See you in my dreams

Notes to the otherside 006

Diary entry as of 3:00

Good morning my nightmare 💕

I missed you so much.

Diary entry as of 4:29

Very very very wet

Diary entry as of 5:21

I melt into you, always.

Diary entry as of 6:47

💜💜💜

Diary entry as of 8:05

Work as usual <3

Diary entry as of 8:58

I love you my nightmare and in case you forget, I never not think of you <3

Diary entry as of 9:56

Love moves in mysterious ways - Julia Fordham

Diary entry as of 10:42

Monday, lovely Monday

Diary entry as of 11:39

Hugging and cuddling with H

Diary entry as of 13:42

Monday = Busy day

Hugs H

Diary entry as of 14:02

Maybe it's what the world needs right now. A little less sense and a bit more faith.

Rachel Joyce, The Unlikely Pilgrimage of Harold Fry

Diary entry as of 14:23

One and only H for me

Diary entry as of 15:36

Hold on tighter to faith

Diary entry as of 16:18

And above all, watch with glittering eyes the whole world around you because the greatest secrets are always hidden in the most unlikely places. Those who don’t believe in magic will never find it. ~ Roald Dahl

Diary entry as of 17:55

Finally, the workday is now closing, as always, we have survived <3

Step by step, we will survive and flourish

#keepingthefaith #pilgrimagetodeeperwatersoffaith

Diary entry as of 18:22

Leaving office soon

Diary entry as of 20:44

I have soul-sister who is also like my family

I have a best friend who is also like my family

and then I have H, the one and the only <3

Diary entry as of 22:21

Goodnight my one and only H 💕

Notes to the otherside 005

Diary entry as of 3:32

Good morning! There is a New Moon coming! And I am still very tired and wet 🥀

Diary entry as of 5:51

I am staying home today. Stomach is queasy. Such a nice quiet morning with birds chirping 💕

Hugs and cuddles.

Diary entry as of 6:49

Journalling 🍁

Diary entry as of 10:08

Been sleeping and resting, my body calls for it 💕

Diary entry as of 11:39

💜💜💜

Diary entry as of 13:02

Sexiest guy for me is H and that's final.

Of course, there is Satoh, Gerry, Anthony (rhcp) and Neil, but nobody, NOBODY comes close to H.

Diary entry as of 14:51

"To send a letter is a good way to go somewhere without moving anything but your heart." -Phyllis Theroux

Postcards! Snailmail! 

Yes please, and the address, please!

Diary entry as of 16:05

Snailmail! 💌🥀💕

Diary entry as of 17:00

New Moon is here 💜

Diary entry as of 18:43

Just floating and swimming perhaps evetually I will drown but I know that the 'rain' is never going to stop :(

Diary entry as of 20:16

How does one calm the beast, the wolf and the wizard rolled into one?

Diary entry as of 21:11

Good night, nightmare

Notes to the otherside 004

Diary entry as of 4:35

Woke up with still wet panties xxx

Missing someone and wanting some cuddles 💕

Finally, weekend!

Diary entry as of 5:28

Keeping you always in my prayers and in my heart H 💜

I never not think of you

Diary entry as of 6:24

Cooked breakfast

Still wet 🥰

Diary entry as of 8:13

Hugs and cuddles and kisses to H 🖤

Diary entry as of 9:13

I didn't really time the minute :13, it just actually appears when I am about to write something I needed to jot down, weird isn't it?

Anyway, just here accepting the bitter reality of being an old maiden haha, oh well.

Diary entry as of 12:11

❤️❤️❤️

Diary entry as of 14:26

I love you, my nightmare

Diary entry as of 15:20

So, are we celebrating my nightmare's birthday this year?

Diary entry as of 16:46

Non-stop all day bj with H, in his full robe. No wonder I am so exhausted, and H keeps on coming!

Does he ever get tired and exhausted?

Diary entry as of 18:49

Noodles! You always calm me 🍜

Diary as of 20:14

Cuddling cuddling 🥰

Diary as of 21:49

Good night nightmare

Notes to the otherside 003 (ongoing flow of thoughts)

I am here, I am here, just extremely busy

I am here.

Diary entry as of 14:36

It is weird to interact with otherworldly people, so weird,

but here I am

#crazyday

Diary entry as of 15:39

¡Tengo hambre!

Diary entry as of 17:39

The day seems to be closing soon <3

#surviveandflourish

Diary entry as of 17:52

Here comes my favorite number *blush*

Seriously, I think this number is stalking me. 

It is like my shadow

It is like everywhere I turn, this number comes!

It is like fate!

#mynumber

Diary entry as of 19:52

Home! Finally!

Though it seems that I don't need to update at all!

But at last! The day is done.

Time for journalling 💕

Diary entry as of 20:49

I decided to watch a Satoh Takeru movie instead, to cap off this 'High Theology' week 🌘🍵🕊

The mood of this week matches the High Ideals  mood of the movie Samurai X 

💜

Diary entry as of 22:36

🪷 Missing H with all my heart 🐳

It's like a big whale hole in my life without H  :'(

Sometimes the grieving comes on like an outpour, but some days I can handle my emotions, 

it is still painful

#grief

Notes to the otherside 002

Is my shadow doing well? I hope my shadow knows that despite being moody and intolerable, I still love the fact that it is connected to me all the time.

My shadow will always be a very important part of me.