From my hiding place - catalog 4

 

Moods #26

 

Moods #25

The Beginning | One OK Rock

Just tell me why baby
They might call me crazy
For saying I'll fight until there is no more

Moods #24

Glory Box | Portishead

Sow a little tenderness

No matter if you cry

No stopping the bleeding

It is not like it is the first time that I quit something

It is not like I am facing disintegration for the very first time in my life

I am used to decays

I am used to breakdowns

I am used to failings

But this time, I know it is the beginning of something long-term

Long term disintegration

Long term disillusionment

Slow dance

Trapped in darkness

Like a long tunnel

I know I chose to go through the tunnel

I am walking it now

No point of return

Each day presents a darker gradation

Each moment I know there is something more sinister in the background

Just taking its time to spring up and reveal its face

Each day, from morning to midnight, 

I watch myself emerge from dust then throughout the day, watch myself reduce to dust

Relentless watching

Not any eye muscle strong enough to look away

No

I have to fully watch

And painfully feel

To burn again and again

in the dark, in the shadow, in the cold

They say it is a wound that will never heal

The blood will flow again and again

Through the burn

Through the open wound

No stopping the bleeding

No sleep to save us from despair

No balm to stop the pain

But I continue walking 

Moods #23

Today is a walk down the memory lane of high school life.

Maybe around 2nd year or 3rd year high school, if you asked me to recite the whole lyrics of RENT and JCS, you can also toss in Chicago and Moulin Rouge, I wouldn't hesitate to start right away. I knew every single word by heart. Even just a whiff of their music, I was like a hound hungry for every note of them, two notes, three notes, I knew which part and whose character would be singing that song. 

Those were my obsessed days.

Anyways, who wouldn't dance to Tango Maureen, really?

Or who wouldn't cry in the song Without You?

Or wouldn't you be affected by I'll Cover You, and its more impressionable version, I'll Cover You Reprise after Angel's death?

Of course, there's that really funny Akita Evita scene, the intro to La Vie Boheme. This is closely connected to Angel's intro to the musical, singing Today 4 U.

The battle of wills in Take me or Leave me?

So, let's listen to La Vie Boheme A & B here, and if you are into alternative or underground artists/philosophers then you could look up the works of people whose names were mentioned in the song. These passionate people were attuned into their instinctive drives to create. Not the creative deodorized drive accepted by the mainstream.