Journey Essential Creed

Feel the fear, then do it anyway 

(^_^)

Of Sadness and Whales

My, I have to finish a lot today and this is where my emotions interrupt. Maybe Paolo Cuelho is right, writing is easy: just stare at the screen of your computer until a tear drops on your keyboard. Today it is so easy to cry, I can just drop a tear right now. Pinaliliguan ng luha ang mga salita at mga kwento at mga anyo ng komunikasyon. I usually like this feeling because it makes me write. But inclined inside not for office nor work. Heavy day.

Remembering my swimming skills, I wrote these sad lines for my friends:

Dear friends,

Feeling really sad today, perhaps, heavily sad, if there is such a thing. I feel like swimming. But in swimming we should just take it easy, breathe easy, concentrate on how subtle force can propel you to move to far distances. 

Wearing goggles can help too, because it will allow you to see underwater. But for now, I will just use my ear to feel and know my direction. Like how it is with whales, they make whale sounds, which submariners refer to as whale cry, to determine where they are. Any object, be it fish, stones, sea creatures, that will bounce back the sound that whale produced will give clues about its position and direction. 

According to submariners who are usually strong and mature men, the saddest sound they hear deep in the ocean is the whale cry. No matter if they are military men, navy men, the cry will really make a full grown man weep. Thousands of leagues deep in the sea, thousands of miles away from their family, their friends, the familiar civilization, these submariners long for home and familiarity after hearing the whale cry. Oh well, some days maybe even up above the sea, even in these concrete roads, cemented cities, airconditioned offices, there are days when we just hear the whale cry. Must be something from deep within our subconscious. Something that the humanity share. Something that all of us share. 

Just writing using my emotions, can't really watch out about coherent thoughts and logic and grammar.

I keep swimming, swimming and swimming.

Deep breath, here comes final stretch

Ok, here goes the video editing phase

 

Breakfast and lessons on growing

I treat my 20s as an intense period of learning. It is with deep connection to my tendency of stubbornly following my original plan, that I cannot change my mind in the beginning, middle or near the end of a goal that I set myself to do. But as life has been teaching me this past few months, there are a lot of things out of our control, therefore, more or less, it is convenient to change our minds from time to time to be able to achieve our goals. Being stubborn and hardheaded about changing plan had been my Achilles heel ever since, but this Cebu experience is really set to teach me about giving enough room for adjustment when plans fail. It is again one of the comfort zones I need to leave because I need to grow.

As I am typing now, I am expressing my joy after eating my freshly cooked pechay in olive oil and soy sauce and egg peppered with thyme leaves, I served it with three slices of bread.

Ah wonderful! I am really heartened by the magical taste of these yummy treats for myself.

Actually I originally intended to cook egg, cook pechay and wait for canteen to open so I can get rice. That means an hour of wait because our canteen opens around 7am, but I finished cooking at 6am. But heck, my table is set for breakfast already and I realized the food in my plates are enough. I must savor the flavors while its hot. And my choice proved to be right.

Satisfied with my simple but healthy breakfast, I look outside my window and welcomed a new day coming. The sky is filled with bluish hope, this should turn out to be a good week.

Although there comes a point when we need to make more adjustment than we were used to, we should be happy to welcome the change, as it teaches us to grow slowly, gently. Growth as we all know is painful because we will never know what will come next, it is altogether a new territory. I come to a point when I just trust the process, to just let go and let new experiences stir us to greater awareness and emotions. Of course, we must not miss the beautiful sky outside the window as we go through the bumpy ride of Growth Avenue. We must open ourselves up more to changes that come with growth, who knows we might be giving ourselves a rare big chance of putting healthier and yummier food in our table. 

Spending weekend in my house

Yes, I am very productive

&Looking forward to new planner ^^

Isang entry para sa huling paalam

Makakaasa ka, mula ngayon, tatalikuran ko na lahat nang pangako at ekspektasyon na sa huli nama'y di na rin matutupad. Naubos na rin yata ang mga luha ko. Napagod na rin ang puso sa pagkirot. Ibinaba ko na ang tangan-tangan kong bigat na galing sa ating pagkakasunduan.

Ngayon, parang ang gaan na lang. Akala ko dati'y mas madali ang magaan, mali pala. Mas mawawalan pala ng direksyon kapag sobrang gaan lang.

Lalangoy na lang muna ako. Hihintayin ang araw na sa wakas malalaman kong buo na ulit ako. Na naghilom na ang sarili mula sa mga sugat at bugbog ng emosyon at alaala. Matiyaga ko iyong hihintayin, mula sa pagliwanag nang langit hanggang sa pagtataboy ng dilim dito at sa di mapipigilang pagliwanag nito muli. Sa ngayon, lalangoy na lang muna. Lalangoy nang lalangoy. Nang lalangoy.

A visit to Quezon City

La Playa Beach and Kawasan Falls, Badian

Footsteps in the sea

And crying is all I can do to battle sadness.