Taking a much needed break from the usual grind. Once in a while I find myself confused and lost. After a big wave of giving service to others, I always catch myself asking "Is this all I can give? Is this all I am supposed to do?" Ok to give a context, I have been out most of August working -- after the monsoon rains swamped most of the Metro and other nearby provinces -- the Foundation I am part of launched flood relief to areas affected. It was a busy month for all of us. There were times when we have to go to office as early as 6am and then we stayed until almost midnight. But yeah, we've managed and we made it well.
So, back to my digression, after the grueling month, I catch myself asking again "Is this all I can give? Is this all I am supposed to do?" Maybe not. So I started to go back to my 'normal' life, the everyday routine. But before anything else I learned many a revelation. REVELATION #1. I have to prepare myself to these kinds of calamities, once I start helping, I have to let go of the familiar routine that makes up my usual day, like waking up early to start planning the day, going to class, going to office, going home, cooking dinner, read and write academic stuff and update of social life (through net). If I want to keep my life steady I must be flexible. To lead a life diligently fulfilling my routine is really rewarding, but once a big natural calamity happens, I learned (the hard way) that I need to adjust -- not just my routine but my life. I admit I had been running low on my acads, I easily get tired (maybe because my body is adjusting yet again from the big grind from last month), I fail to wake up early -- in short I am not being diligent. I don't want that to happen.
So I am drawing up a plan to lead a more proactive life. I have to keep myself open to the fact that the impermanence of life can really destroy best laid plans but I can integrate these realities to my normal routine right?
It is just I am worried about my acads. I am finding it more difficult to balance acads and work now. Where can I find time? Sigh.
Sorry dear readers, just having problems with my life routine, and I need to write it down so I can get the big picture.
So back to my questions about -- is this all I can do? I have academic life too but more and more I miss the Main Lib. Argh, if only I can manage my time more effectively :'(
But have to be grateful to this Sunday because it provides a fresh break from the deep, serious grind (of being in service to others) and the worries about academic stuff. Last night also, I was able to watch Potted Potter with my friends Romina and Fati. It is always lovely to have them around bec it makes me realise that I am not alone in this kind of problem -- work and acads ^^
Sigh, also I have a family thing later. My tita and tito are going to celebrate their 25th wedding anniversary by getting married again. So this time I am her bridesmaid. The motif of wedding is red and silver! I have to have my measurements taken today. Aside from that I so need to jog!
Nevertheless, I am glad because I am back to blogging! Yay ^^
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I remember my dear friend Fati telling me last May about her taking a break from work because NGO work is really hard ~ not just physically but emotionally. To be young and to realise the difficult life situation of the people around us is really exhausting. To feel their pain and to carry it with me everyday can sometimes deplete my energies. Giving service to others really feels good but sometimes we need to recuperate those parts of us that we gave away.
Also, I believe I mentioned before that I took a 9-month break from work too to focus on studies. A month before going back to work, I thought I found a way of managing my time well (work plus acads) but I was wrong. Being a part of a group in helping others is really good but I have to balance it with my acads (individual pursuit), in this light I became aware of REVELATION #2. The difficulty of balancing my group (self) and my individual (self). I have been running into the same wall of spreading myself thin (group) only to find out that my individuality is not at par with the demands of my personal projects (acads, self-mastery). BIG BIG sigh.
Oh well, and I digress.
