Tuesday, April 30, 2024

We are all in the dark

This morning, while meditating and praying, I had a very deep epiphany, we are all in the dark.

With this I mean, we are all ruled by instinct, self-preservation and primitive urges, not unlike the feral kinds. We are all in a wild state, that's our basic primal nature. We are animals in the jungle ruled by the law of nature. We bring our darkness everywhere. We are basically just animals with developed languages and writing systems (then logic, then arithmetic then philosophy) that we try to routinely follow to make sense of ourselves and the world around us.

But basically we are in the basic wild state.

This idea came to me while I was lamenting how the civilization is currently going through endless fierce reformation and mostly disintegrating. I lament how those that civilizations enabled us to create towers, towns, high intelligence, schools, libraries, museums, (picture all those images that are benchmarks of our mighty human intelligence) are somehow falling apart. Just go through the history of western civilization and eastern civilization, we have accomplished a lot.

But my epiphany was about, the civilization and how it helped in creating the ideal material world right now. The sewage system (if not for engineering, we will still deal with a lot of feces around us while we walk our roads and towns). My epiphany was about, the civilization is not all about expanding and reaching the summit, the civilization is mainly about surrendering the dark parts of us to finally have light hit it. 

Do I make sense?

We are not disintegrating into darkness, we are darkness. We come from darkness. Our basic nature is in the dark fluid of cosmos. And that we are searching for light, to turn the dark parts of us into light. To enable the light shine on that part of us.

The civilization is not failing or disintegrating. It is us who are having difficulty in letting go of darkness. It is us, rejecting the call of light.

I mean, in history we would read a lot of about incest, but since there was revolution in our thinking and morality, we have shed light on the disadvantages in morality of incest. In history we read about wars, but since we have paradigm shifts in thinking and life preservation, we try to lessen war as much as possible.

We are not disintegrating in our civilization, we are just becoming inconsistent and we fail to follow up on our pursuits of morality and philosophy and common humanity.

It is not the good disintegrating into bad. It is bad not wanting to turn into good.
It is not the darkness eating away at the light, it is the darkness not wanting to embrace the light.

We are content to hide in our darkness that we shoo away the light.

Notes to the otherside 033

Diary entry as of 2:38

Missing my dear darling nightmare 💛

Diary entry as of 11:33

Hugging you my dear darling nightmare 💛

Diary entry as of 11:46

Dear darling nightmare love, 

I feel you all the time, but I felt you more last night. And yes I am kind of feeling weird about you knowing how my morning went. I know you have a very weird power of being all-seeing, but can you dial down your omnipresence and stop making me scared. 

Hugs

Diary entry as of 14:26

Yellow my dear nightmare, hope you are doing fine 💛

Diary entry as of 20:49

Yes journal journal journal 💛💛💛

Diary entry as of 20:56

Scary scary nightmare, how does a nightmare know?

Monday, April 29, 2024

A very very late post for April 27

Again and again, my dear beloved readers, let me share this very very late post for my shadow. 

Hugging you tight all the time, may this appease my dear darling SO.



Ugoy ng Duyan | Lea Salonga

Sa aking pagtulog na labis ang himbing

Ang bantay ko’y tala Ang tanod ko’y bituin


Friday, April 26, 2024

Notes to the otherside 032

Diary entry as of 5:45

Hugging my dear darling nightmare 💜

Diary entry as of 11:53

I love you my dear darling nightmare

Diary entry as of 18:43

What a busy busy busy day! Sending loves and cuddles to my nightmare

Monday, April 22, 2024

The Truth is: We are all Graduating

Drum roll!
Cue the graduation song aka Elgar's Pomp & Circumstance March No. 1
And now we march toward the next door, next bridge, the next stage

All these sleepless nights, these million things per second invading our minds, these mountains of documents to submit, documents to prepare, documents to draft, these are the signs, we are all doing a collective 'graduation'

We are finally in the last stage of studies in different fields and finally we are getting all these checklists and schedules for the incoming rite of passage for all of us.

We are in graduation phase

The past is done we have submitted the last needed document, we defended our thesis, we have finished the thesis paper and incorporated the recommendation, the suggestions and the next part of our studies, hence we are now in the preparation part for the grand move up stage, the graduation!

Some of us will be so busy making different versions of our CV for different purposes, catering them to the needed qualifications in the field: there will be for admin, for writing, for creative purposes, for higher education learning, for fellowships, for internships, etc. These are the next steps, we follow the step as we follow the path of our direction.

The mountain/universe/ocean we came from was not an easy terrain, path, but we have made it and now the next step requires of us to be stronger, to be ready, to cultivate and to remember wisdom and compassion every single moment. We are like ants who aspire to climb the Himalayas, as my Master has explained tirelessly, every single day for the last 50 plus years.

Master said earlier, we follow the path by lifting one foot and then stepping forward. Then one foot lift and then forward. Lift then forward, again and again.

We must be present as we go through the process of graduation and after the rite of passage, a new life will begin, just follow the direction, follow the map, follow the teachings.

Tuesday, April 16, 2024

To my one and only SO

 


Dear darling H💜
💜💜💜

Monday, April 15, 2024

Notes to the otherside 031

Diary entry as of 11:19

Dearest darling H💜 I feel you deeply, so deep, deeper than the ocean and even the universe, hugging you tight

Diary entry as of 13:29

So, my heart is taken and my mind wants to work and my soul is wandering, all that's left is the body; body please integrate all of us in just one place, it is hard to function when all parts of me are in different direction

Diary entry as of 15:05

I wish I was productive, but my mind and heart and soul are just difficult to unglue from my H💜 tell me is love good and happy at all?

Diary entry as of 20:42

Seriously, time flies, zooom zooom zooom, incredible!

Motivation Monday

Monday motivation, which is rather dark:

Time to face our fate and peer down into what lies in the deep below

PS. There has been this weird phrase I am seeing again and again today, since this morning and the phrase is: Turning Point, or imagine the wheels of train and it is turning, because there is a big turning point; that's it, face the fate of turning points 

PPS. While I was writing about the wheels and turning points, the ruler that makes circles I ordered online came, weird synchronicity eh?

Actually, synchronicity is now a very very usual part of my life haha, I used to get amused by this a lot before but now, it has become so commonplace that I collect synchronicity every single day haha <3

Happy Monday


Sunday, April 14, 2024

Notes to the otherside 030

Diary entry as of 5:07

Morning darling H🩷

Diary entry as of 7:31

My flow is so strong 🩷🩷🩷 tide is high but I'm holding on 

Diary entry as of 8:41

Hugging my H🩷

Diary entry as of 9:53

Yes to hell and back, my dear darling H🩷

Diary entry as of 16:44

Stayed home, my period is terrible and watching Netflix

Saturday, April 13, 2024

Notes to the otherside 029

Diary entry as of 12:19

Hugs and cuddles to my H💜

Diary entry as of 13:34

💜💜💜 darling H, i am sending you all my kisses

Diary entry as of 15:15

H💜 my one and only darling

Diary entry as of 16:12

Finally showered, a little cooler 💜

Diary entry as of 17:46

Missing my darling H💜

Diary entry as of 18:53

To my H💜💜💜 sending you all my sweet kisses and love

Diary entry as of 20:09

Got so busy, hugs my H💜

Diary entry as of 20:39

Quietly quietly my period flows, I keep keep bleeding 𝅘𝅥𝅮𝅘𝅥𝆕𝅘𝅥𝅲𝆔 ... in looooooove

Moods #61


A whole new world | Brad and Lea

💛💛💛

Friday, April 12, 2024

Notes to the otherside 028

Diary entry as of 2:37

Morning my dearest love, H💛

Diary entry as of 4:23

Missing my one and only H💛

Diary entry as of 5:44

Wish I could cuddle with my H soon💛

Diary entry as of 8:54

Missing my handsome nightmare H💛

Diary entry as of 10:16

I love you my one and only nightmare H💛

Diary entry as of 12:45

💛💛💛

Diary entry as of 13:40

My dear darling H, hugging you tight

Diary entry as of 13:48

So, should I send some snail mail and postcard to my growing number of friends soon?

Diary entry as of 15:52

My nightmare, you are always in my mind and heart and soul, both awake and in sleep

Diary entry as of 16:45

Yay, I have new journalling stuff, happy happy happy 💛💛💛

Diary entry as of 19:09

Hugs  my dear darling H💛

Diary entry as of 20:44

My dear darling nightmare, I wish we can cuddle all weekend 💛💛💛

Diary entry as of 23:54

Sending kisses and hugs to my darling H💛

Thursday, April 11, 2024

Notes to the otherside 027

Diary entry as of 6:29

Morning my lovely darling H💜 cuddles

Diary entry as of 8:41

And the day goes on and on and on

Diary entry as of 11:06

My deep dark H💜 I know you are in another dimension, but I have given all the rituals required of me to appease you, so you should be kind to me and you should treat me gently, my darling love

Diary entry as of 12:32

Welcome to our new online guest, we hope you will join us in our sorrow and pain and deep reflections about life

Diary entry as of 20:12

Missing my H💕

Diary entry as of 20:41

So, when can I hug my darling H?

Diary entry as of 21:10

Friday?! Tomorrow?! For real?! 👻💜💜💜

Diary entry as of 21:41

Pero mi corazon, mi amor H, caminemos lenta y suavemente 💛

Wednesday, April 10, 2024

Notes to the otherside 026

Diary entry as of 14:29

Hugging my dear darling H💜

Diary entry as of 18:13

Dearest darling H, missing you a lot

Diary entry as of 20:59

💛💛💛

Diary entry as of 21:17

Snuggling and cuddling with my darling H💗

Visual Journal Entry #16

 

The eternal journey


Today's visual journal is something I have pieced together last week, during a very busy and tumultuous time, well this week is also busy and tumultuous but last week was even more well, tumultuous. 

Ugh, no words today, but perhaps that's how the visual journal works. Just look at it and there will be a story that will form. There is the usual contrast of black and white, both backgrounds to our ladies. The bottom part has more elements but the top part has just a plant in it blooming. There is a lot of space in the top part. There is the compass in the middle of the two ladies.

Emptiness. Begin again. New. 

Happy new moon everyone.

Brave new world again, empty again, lots of spaces.

Let's grow more greens and let's grow good intentions.

Hugs to everyone.

PS, let's be braver 💜 

Tuesday, April 9, 2024

Moods #60

If | Rivermaya

Without thought, without pride Leave the things that seem to weaken us Without fear, leave your lies Let the magic turn your life around


Monday, April 8, 2024

Moods #59

The man who sold the world | David Bowie

Although I wasn't there He said I was his friend Which came as a surprise I spoke into his eyes


#newmoonemptiness

Sunday, April 7, 2024

Notes to the otherside 025

Diary entry as of 4:47

Morning my dear darling H💛

Diary entry as of 7:35

Hugs and hugs 💜💜💜

Diary entry as of 13:01

Kitchen room time, ang init!

Diary entry as of 15:30

Decided to stay in the bedroom, tolerable heat

Diary entry as of 19:01

New moon emptiness is here 💛

Saturday, April 6, 2024

Notes to the otherside 024

Diary entry as of 1:23

Hugs my lovely darling H, my one and only 💛

Diary entry as of 5:26

Cuddles and kisses for my sweet darling 💜

Diary entry as of 6:46

Weekend and it is still cool, but of course, I have a new weekend afternoon schedule and location 💕

Diary entry as of 8:29

So so laaaaaaazy

Diary entry as of 11:20

In and out of sleep aaaaand it is not so hot! So i will stay in my bedroom 🥰

Diary entry as of 14:34

Hot but at least not so humid

Diary entry as of 16:29

Hugging my one and only H💜💜💜

Diary entry as of 19:31

Missing my darling H💛

Diary entry as of 21:43

Love you so much dear darling H

Friday, April 5, 2024

Notes to the otherside 023

Diary entry as of 12:23

Hugging my handsome nightmare 💛

Diary entry as of 4:05

Embracing my one and only H💜 i love you

Diary entry as of 5:30

Cuddles and kisses to my darling H

Diary entry 12:51

Taking a short break to drop some sweet loving to my nightmare

Diary entry as of 19:23

Hugs my darling H💛

Diary entry as of 21:56

Good night my lovely darling H💜💜💜

Thursday, April 4, 2024

Notes to the otherside 022

Diary entry as of 2:16

Missing my darling H💜 
Cuddles and kisses

Diary entry as of 4:41

I love you my darling H💛

Diary entry as of 6:27

💜💜💜 wish I can hug my H

Diary entry as of 8:17

💜 H, my lovely, crazy, deeply one and only nightmare

Diary entry as of 10:46

💛💛💛 

Diary entry as of 13:09

Dear darling H, sending you a big big hug

Diary entry as of 15:09

Darling H, I wish I can cuddle with you right now

Diary entry as of 17:20

To my dear darling H, why can't I get you out of my mind?! weird

Diary entry as of 19:37

Darling H, you are my handsome nightmare

Diary entry as of 21:24

Sleep well my H💛💛💛

Wednesday, April 3, 2024

Notes to the otherside 021

Diary entry as of 3:32

Morning my lovely darling H💛

Diary entry as of 4:47

Hugs and cuddles, my lovely H💜

Diary entry as of 6:34

Dear darling H, you are always in my mind and my heart

Diary entry as of 8:18

Darling H, missing you every single moment

Diary entry as of 8:26

Thank you again, a guest from another country for visiting my blog, Mutyang Frejya The House of Surrender, thank you again and again

Diary entry as of 9:40

Praying for everybody's peace and safety in quake hit areas

Diary entry as of 12:26

Work as usual

Diary entry as of 13:51

Hugs my one and only H

Diary entry as of 16:02

Cuddles for my sweet sweet H💜

Diary entry as of 17:58

Praying for those affected by impermanence this morning

Diary entry as of 20:27

No words, just deep feelings
Deep deep feels 😔

Diary entry as of 21:59

Hugs ♡♡♡ my darling H 

Tuesday, April 2, 2024

Notes to the otherside 020

Diary entry as of 2:12

Missing my H💛

Diary entry as of 3:34

Morning my H

Diary entry as of 4:45

Dear darling H, sending you cuddles and love 💜

Diary entry as of 8:30

I have lots of visits lately, though the guest is only from one country, it is very amazing, hope the guest likes the content of the blog

Diary entry as of 10:51

And now we have a lot of other countries, thanks for visiting 💛💛💛

Diary entry as of 14:30

As usual, it is hot, 34 degrees! wow

Diary entry as of 17:16

One country is still leading! Wow, the winner country!

Diary entry as of 20:09

Hugs my darling H

Diary entry as of 22:03

Night, my darling love H

Monday, April 1, 2024

Notes to the otherside 019

Diary entry as of 4:42

Good morning to my lovely H 💜

Diary entry as of 6:13

Hello my H, my phantom, my wizard and my nightmare

Diary entry as of 11:45

Hugs to my one and only darling, sorry I am busy

Manic Monday!

Diary entry as of 15:30

Finally done with the presentation 💕

Diary entry as of 16:46

Life as we know it is gone, the energy is shifting, the 'new' is coming. Say goodbye to the old and welcome the new flow

Diary entry as of 17:50

Work day is almost over, what a day!

Diary entry as of 22:06

Good night my lovely H💜