Small steps leading to the path

Today, let's talk about the reality of trauma and it's dark long shadow that it casts upon us. We who are still struggling as we learn everyday to walk with it, breathe with it, live with it and just trying to survive with it.

I mean I don't have the cure for it or anything, but I know how painful it is. So painful, layer by layer of pain, waves of bitterness, of holding your strength in front of trauma as it replays in your mind, of denial because of pain, of wanting to run away and escape from it ~ seemingly the only sane course to follow because who wants to be exposed to trauma 24/7?

That's why we create masks, that's why we run away, that's why we hide and why we escape, because it is the only way to keep it from overwhelming us and from totally devouring us. We create an escape universe, we create a different world where we can exist devoid of the fears and demons of our trauma.

It is not bad, actually because we all need to cope right? But what is bad is that we delude ourselves that we can run away from it, that if we bury it, it will just die and it will leave us alone. No, it doesn't work that way. Eventually, it will come out of the deepest pit, haunting us, confronting us, cornering us until we are face to face with it again. We are now being asked, are we going to run again or are we going to finally face it?

This is the life cycle of trauma, it can be as old as our life. Some people are so sensitive that trauma even started from the womb, they felt it right away. Some trauma started as early as childhood, conditioning from our primary caregivers, abuse or mishandling from them, manipulations and subtle controls. Those trauma that are as old as us, existing with us even from infancy, even from childhood when most of our basic senses and knowledge began developing.

So yes, I guess the only real way to face our trauma is to finally find peace within ourselves that this time I am fully resolved and whole-heartedly committed to sort out my baggage and my issues, I may not know how to handle the pain all the time but I am open to it and I am not running away from it. Building sustainable routines, methods and resolutions can help us to go on with small steps into the right path of recovery. 

There are ways and outlets to cope with our trauma, like music, art, being with people who has gone through the same pains and fears, writing or doing volunteer work for the benefit of other people who need assistance. 

There will be bad days, there will be down days, dark days and even time when we just want to abandon the path of healing our trauma, but I pray even for myself that we stay committed and fully resolved to our decision. In our path to healing, we really touch others lives in very meaningful ways. We really can open wonderful affinities with a lot of people who are also finding or following their path to healing. Just open our hearts, not just our eyes, they are around us. They are also like fireflies trying to lit up the darkness. A group of fireflies can really light up a considerable amount of space and they even emit some warmth that can touch many hearts. 

I really wish we find the undying flame of our faith within ourselves and the deep well of our hope, it is all within us, to heal, to recover and help others in their path to healing too.