Deeper darker tones

Here we are again, trying to survive this day with tremendous effort from every inch of our body, our sanity and our emotions, don't worry, we are all in this together. We are all forged here in the hot flames for a better version of us, just keep on holding on. We will finally reach that space where we can breathe easily, releasing worries and pain and trauma. 

You are not alone.

In my desperate quest for grounding in the first three weeks of this new year, I have read and re-read some books and articles in some websites which may heal my wounding soul, my crashing inner world. Heaven knows there were moments when my last shred of sanity was just being flimsily held albeit tightly by some words of my spiritual teacher, words that protected me from deep darkness where it seemed like I kept on falling endlessly. As my body was helplessly suffering from high fever, my lungs burning from cough, and my mind seemed like it swallowed a black hole, my sanity and my last effort to hold on to who I am was summarized in some of the words I deeply imbibed from my spiritual guide, she said 'let it go' and 'let it go' and 'let it go' ~ okay, to veer away from the pop culture resonance of these words, I have to set it straight, it is not a reference to a song from a famous children's animation back in 2013, however, these words from my spiritual teacher is from a story that she was retelling from a Buddhist Sutra.

It is actually a very short snippet of a story, once there was a spiritual practitioner who wanted to give flowers of adoration to the Buddha, he prostrated humbly in front of the Buddha, kept his hands in prayer position and he set the flower in front of the Buddha. Then after a while, a long moment of silence ensued, with intense alertness the spiritual practitioner just kept his hands on the flower offering, then the Buddha spoke, "Let it go," the spiritual practitioner let go of his hands from clutching the flower but his hands remained in prayer position. The Buddha again said, "Let it go," and then the spiritual practitioner, though surprised understood that maybe he just needs to put his hands into resting position and not in prayer position. Then after a moment of silence, the Buddha said again, "Let it go," the spiritual practitioner became so confused this time, that he dared to look at the Buddha (usually when practitioners prostrate to the Buddha, they don't look at Him or at His eyes, they just bow their heads as a sign of reverence) then the Buddha kept on saying "Let it go."

That's the end of the story.

It is so simple yet so profound. It is what it means, let it go.

The way I understand it is that we have to keep on letting layers of us be stripped away, no matter how painful it is, down to who we are. We need to keep shedding the false masks, false faces, false identities of the ego until we are bare-boned true self and until there is no way but to surrender. Not knowing what will wait for us at the other end of the bridge, but we still do it anyway because we believe in our quest, we have faith that in surrender we will find our deepest treasures.

Easier said than done. Believe me, I know, I know how hard it is. 

Though let us not forget that in the deepest darkest part of our journeys, we have medicine with us, we have light within us, it is believing that in the darkness, there is eternal light. We just have to train ourselves to learn to lit it up in the darkest places. That's why we have our ancient mythologies of rites of passage in every ancient civilizations, because they know it very well, the darkness and the alchemy of turning dark into light. Unfortunately, we forget it in our modern lives. So, yes I urge you my dear friends and readers, let's remember the ancient ways, ancient maps and ancient mysteries, those stories that resonate within us when we read some of its retelling, like Inanna, Erishkigal, Persephone, Demeter and Hecate, they are all women whose stories are still as relevant to our lives as to those in the ancients.

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Addendum:

Though I can see here that I am referencing two important elements: Buddhism founded by a male monk and the feminine goddesses of ancient mythologies, which lead me to a new question maybe it is time that we balance the feminine and masculine energies in our time/lifetimes so we can make sense of why we tend to forget the wisdom of the ancients in our modern lives now? Maybe it is time we learn the wisdom of balance, because we are in desperate need of medicine for our selves, our lives and our environment?

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I hope you all had a harmonious and revelatory full moon my dear friends.