Oh, and about 33 things/phrases

As a way to close the past year, let me try to write a list of some of the memorable, exciting, unexpected, weird, fateful, incomprehensible, magical, illogical, happy, terrifying and wonderful things that happened in my small yet excitement filled life.

01 ~  reluctant packing up

02 ~  moving out 

03 ~  endless ride shares

04 ~  lalamove and moving in

05 ~  two blue suitcases

06 ~  honorary dismissal

07 ~  evening classes

08 ~  reflective portfolio on Education

09 ~  practice teaching

10 ~  fliptop battle

11 ~  Lapu-Lapu, Panday Pira, Urduja, St. Cecilia, St. Therese, St. Joseph and St. Monica

12 ~  grand demo

13 ~  the BIG day after grand demo

14 ~  visiting and staying in UMC with dad and mom

15 ~  Bambang and stethoscope 

16 ~  Soler St, Binondo

17 ~  GSIS Manila Building

18 ~  Yoga in Silang

19 ~  Bukid Kabataan

20 ~  two bookmarks and coffee GCs

21 ~  Christmas and New Year cards from China, Japan and Manila

22 ~  Breakfast at Antonio's

23 ~  explosion of Taal volcano

24 ~  Senior Citizen booklets

25 ~  fixing government documents

26 ~  BIR RDO

27 ~  Trasierra

28 ~  huge stationery hauls from Shopee and Lazada :)

29 ~  Gourmet Farm, yum

30 ~  online classes with my students

31 ~  pandemic and ECQ and lockdown

32 ~  blogging again 

33 ~  learning to cook more vegetarian dishes

As always, I am grateful for the year that was. It was filled with endings, beginnings, uncertainties and fateful encounters. Magical and absolutely unfamiliar. Definitely some of what happened last year will continue to spill into this year, but I still have to filter and define most of them. What I am really sure of now is that I am growing to be more accepting of myself. I am more connected to my core. Maybe adulting is not that bad after all but it takes a lot of effort and willingness to go through this journey.

To close this, let me bid 33 goodbye and hello 34.

Paradox, ECQ pain and you

Believer by Imagine Dragons

I was chockin' in the crowd
Building my rain up in the cloud
Falling like ashes to the ground
Hoping my feelings, they would drown
But they never did, ever lived, ebbin' and flowin'
Inhibited, limited 'til it broke open and rained down
It rained down like 

Pain
~

It took me so long to realize that I have been benefiting immensely from the protection the ECQ is giving me, though I couldn't also discount the fact that it has indeed brought misery to my life by starting a cycle of unending chaos of adjustment, of which I don't know yet how to cope.

From my statement above we can see the words benefit and misery, two adjectives I use to describe ECQ all at the same breath. Very paradoxical. But true nonetheless.

Paradox. I love this word. It is defined as a statement or situation that may be true but seems impossible or difficult to understand because it contains two opposite facts or characteristics by Cambridge English dictionary. Theoretically and poetically, paradox is beautiful. It has that mystery. It has innate richness and it is intangible, full of metaphorical visualizations. Sensational. But trying to live it in real life is dangerous as it can have adverse effects in the psyche and psychological stability. 

Sometimes I fantasize myself 
as someone 
who is built to handle a lot of complexities 
in psychological level 
and still live in the real plane 
as if nothing's bothering me. 
There are times I proved yes I can live it well, 
but eventually I have my limits too. 
My principles can only be stretched so far. 
I might not be able to handle 
you. 
I might not 
be able to handle 
this. 

I am afraid of so many things 
lately. 
I am worried of 
so many things lately. 
And I can't even find a way to open up 
because 
I don't know where to start 
and 
I don't know where to do it. 

Why is life never simple? 
Why does it become complicated again and again and again? 
Will it be extended, will it be lowered to GCQ?

Eventually, I believe I will know the answers but it will breed another set of questions. 

Innocent Confidence

There’s something captivating when non-native English speakers sing in English, it is so raw and innocent and it establishes a rhythm on its own. I marvel at this thought while listening to Yuka Honda & Miho Hatori collectively known as Cibo Matto, singing the song Moonchild. I am so amazed at their accent, it lends a different kind of layer in the language that enhances the melody of the song, it doesn’t sound flat. 

To continue reading, please visit this link below:

Innocent Confidence in Rumination Junction

General Cleaning

Today, I had this very intense desire to clean my room. So intense that upon waking up, I put out all of the beddings in the laundry area to soap and wash. Then, I prepared all the cleaning materials that I needed to clean each nook and cranny in my tiny room. I prepared cleaning towels, my very own cleaning spray: 10% distilled vinegar, lemon essence from lemon peels and slices with 80% water in my spray cleaner, rolling dirt remover and room cologne spray (I usually spray room cologne to make it smell fresher after cleaning.)

Of course, I regularly clean my room however it is just that today, I really feel the intense need to clean each wall, each corner, each little dent in my room. With careful planning, I started to rub each wall after spraying them with my own home-made cleaning spray. The layer of dust is not that bad, though I can see some webs stretching from the corner so I cleaned them off. As for the floor, each square of the rough tile must be rolled on first with the dirt remover then I rubbed it with wet towel. I spent the whole morning doing this, and after some time I could see the improvement that I am making step by step.

When there are far corners that I couldn’t reach, I normally use the cleaning stick of my mom. I put the towel on the other edge and then I wipe the ceiling and the corners of it, there is really some inexplicable satisfaction when the target clump of dirt come off neatly from the surface after careful nudging. Of course, after the area is cleaned, I spray another generous amount of my home-made cleaner to make sure that it is disinfected and that it will stay dirt-free for long.

There are many stocks of paper, books, file cardboard boxes and storage containers in my room that I neatly arrange in the small space I am provided, I usually wipe them all clean too when doing general cleaning. Most of the things have labels with dates or general names so I can easily identify them and group them effectively, yes, I know, some of you will say that I have this weird urge to label things around me. That’s right. Tagging and labeling stuff around me is truly important because it means that I really put a lot importance on that object and that it is part of something greater, maybe a month-long project or a year-long endeavor. But I want to make it clear that not everything can reach that part of labeling and tagging, I filter a lot of things first by deciding whether it is important or not, then if it passed the intense scrutiny, that’s the only time that I will honor the object with the label. I am ruthless when it comes to deciding what is deserving to get a space in my room, what will be included in the system, what will stay in my personal space, if in the end the object gets to be inducted in the system, then it means it has proven its worth. And if otherwise, then it will be put to a recycling box where it will be sorted, which is another system on its own, so I will discuss it next time.

After cleaning my whole room, my favorite part is to spray the room cologne. I usually combine scents, it can be the usual bottle of cologne that we can buy from the stores or it can be an essence from flowers, leaves or oils that I usually purchase from eco-stores or organic shops. It depends on my mood.

Today I am feeling a bit intense so I used the usual store colognes usually the bottle of cologne with colors: blue and green, because they smell nicely pungent for a long time.

I finished cleaning by the time my parents invited me to eat lunch. It took a long time but I am happy with the result. Happy Sunday to all.

Beloved Postcards sent to me by Friends

Today, I am writing about my favorite postcards sent to me via snail mail.

Have I mentioned before that I love writing letters and receiving letters, but in old-school way? Yes, I love sending and receiving snail mails. For those very young to know, before the age of email, there was such a thing as sending mails through post office, all you have to do is prepare your letter, bring it with you to the post office and buy some stamps. Ask the post office staff how much it costs to send your letter domestically or internationally, and then paste the stamps equal to the amount it takes to send it to the recipient, on the envelope and just drop it on the box clearly labelled: domestic/local mail or international mail. There congratulations, you have posted a snail mail. Of course, unlike the hyper-speed function of email, your snail mail will take a while for your friend to receive it. In my experience, usually my letters to Japan arrive within 2 weeks and to China almost a month. But domestically, my letters usually take 2 to 3 weeks to arrive. I was surprised really that my friend in Japan received the letter I sent earlier than the letter I sent to QC. Interesting isn't it?

Through the years, my letter boxes have been filling up with a lot of letters. Usually from friends here and overseas, then acquaintances and of course most of them now are from students.

This is a picture of some of the letters I have collected through the years.

Not all of them were sent through snail mail, some of them were personally given to me. I take good care of each of these letters because I know the senders really put a lot of effort and thoughts in making/writing these compositions.

Now, I am going to show some of the best post cards I have received from my friends.

The first one below is a picture of two pandas eating bamboo contently. I used to dream of becoming a panda nurse, I think it must be a great job to interact and take care of pandas all day, to play with them, hug and carry them. You can see in the postcard that these two pandas look like they are communicating while eating, facing each other and even maybe sharing some bamboo, they must be best friends or maybe lovers. They just look so happy.

This next one is cherry blossoms tree in winter, with a number of Santa Claus under it. It evokes the feeling of childish awe. It is such a big tree and it seems like it is a pseudo-Christmas tree but its foliage is pink, and it just gives off that bright, light vibe. There are a lot of movements in the photo provided by a number of Santa Claus in their full costume, it seems like they are preparing to bring their gifts to give away and they are huddling together to reach a consensus. It feels so nice because they seem so busy, just like my family whenever we gather together for a reunion to celebrate the Noche Buena.

Ah this one is of course Oblation of UP Diliman, sent as a postcard by Romina. I love the color and how it was framed. We can see the edges of the Administration building. We can see some of the pillars of the building, proudly rising to the high-ceiling. There was this urban legend in the campus that we should not take our picture with Oble while studying, because it will mean that we will graduate late. So I spent my whole college life avoiding going near Oble, I learned to admire him from afar. Tip: the best view of him are from (1) the vast patch of green near College of Mass Communication and (2) from the sunflower garden along the acad oval. But now, no more avoiding, I can have my picture taken with him anytime, I have my Sablay already.

This one below is a nice cut-out post card sent by Steph. She chose well. I love it. But I didn't have the heart to cut it because I just love looking at it. The best part of it is its material, it is an artificial suede fabric on the other side and a laminated smooth cardboard on the other. From time to time, I just like touching it.

Lastly, this one below is a nicely shaped postcard from Tokyo. I love the angular feel of this structure. And the color combination. It feels like it is strictly symmetrical. Balanced, however it also feels too rigid and suffocating. Also, the hard and angular lines that we can see all over this structure makes it feel so solid and sturdy.

Hopefully, I can make another post about favorite cards given to me by my friends and students. Maybe next time I will make time for it, but anyways, thanks for reading and see you again.

Meron kaya nito sa mga tindahan?

So here is another one of the songs I have been listening to since this morning. A friend said that the video is artfully done, I agree. Of course, aside from the jagged, beat-y melody, the lyrics is just poetic. This is probably one of the best combination of video making and good music. Enjoy!

Coin-operated Boy ~ The Dresden Dolls

This bridge was written to make you feel smittener

With my sad picture of girl getting bitterer

Can you extract me from my plastic fantasy

I didn't think so but I'm still convincible

Something about April

.... and blogging.

April, oh the month of April, almost five years ago, I published the very last entry in this blog. And then life happened so I wasn't able to write for a long time. Until now.

Yes, I am now trying to revive this blog which I have been neglecting for so many years. It doesn't deserve this kind of treatment. As you can see my dear readers, my very first entry here was in year 2011, wow, almost a decade ago, those early years of raw emotions, rants, young-ish view of life, heartaches, failures, disillusions and more. It had been a place of my intimate thoughts. A space to pour out emotions. A small digital vault where I can write about what moves me, touches me. It means so much to me that I can't really let it sink beneath the frame of my life now.

So I am reviving it.

💗