Some random thoughts after waking up from afternoon nap

How to not become a sponge?

Unspeakable pain

Pain as deep as the ocean

Wide, and it keeps on getting wider

I am hopelessly at the bottom

And of course the bottom keeps on disintegrating

So I fall helplessly down

Just like in the movies when the characters

accidentally fall from a rabbit hole

Much like Alice in Wonderland

only I don't fall in a weird solid place

I am just suspended somewhere in the huge ocean

Definitely not on the surface

But nowhere near the bottom

As the bottom keeps on endlessly disappearing

Disintegrating

Just quitting to be solid

Melting

Liquefying

Everything is turning to dust, then dirt

Then nothingness

It is a weird feeling

Utter loneliness

Can't touch anything

Everything seems to turn into shadow

the shapes morphed into indescribable angles

Until there is no essence anymore

It is not just darkness anymore

It is becoming nothingness

Just a shadow

It was once a solid as you touched it

Then when you look back, there is just emptiness

Everything registers as sound, the proof of existence is in their vibration

The eyes can only catch the play of lights on the object

but the sound and vibration cannot be eliminated from the essence

There is still existence but they become invisible because the light cannot reflect them

And why do these things want to become invisible?

Or are these things showing me a different way of looking at them?

Why? 

Is there a new reality?

What for?

Why do I have these questions?

Why is this happening?