Of Sadness and Whales

My, I have to finish a lot today and this is where my emotions interrupt. Maybe Paolo Cuelho is right, writing is easy: just stare at the screen of your computer until a tear drops on your keyboard. Today it is so easy to cry, I can just drop a tear right now. Pinaliliguan ng luha ang mga salita at mga kwento at mga anyo ng komunikasyon. I usually like this feeling because it makes me write. But inclined inside not for office nor work. Heavy day.

Remembering my swimming skills, I wrote these sad lines for my friends:

Dear friends,

Feeling really sad today, perhaps, heavily sad, if there is such a thing. I feel like swimming. But in swimming we should just take it easy, breathe easy, concentrate on how subtle force can propel you to move to far distances. 

Wearing goggles can help too, because it will allow you to see underwater. But for now, I will just use my ear to feel and know my direction. Like how it is with whales, they make whale sounds, which submariners refer to as whale cry, to determine where they are. Any object, be it fish, stones, sea creatures, that will bounce back the sound that whale produced will give clues about its position and direction. 

According to submariners who are usually strong and mature men, the saddest sound they hear deep in the ocean is the whale cry. No matter if they are military men, navy men, the cry will really make a full grown man weep. Thousands of leagues deep in the sea, thousands of miles away from their family, their friends, the familiar civilization, these submariners long for home and familiarity after hearing the whale cry. Oh well, some days maybe even up above the sea, even in these concrete roads, cemented cities, airconditioned offices, there are days when we just hear the whale cry. Must be something from deep within our subconscious. Something that the humanity share. Something that all of us share. 

Just writing using my emotions, can't really watch out about coherent thoughts and logic and grammar.

I keep swimming, swimming and swimming.

Holding on tight

This is a cute picture of Panda who after quake was so scared and afraid. Thankfully there is this guy with his right foot and hand ready to give loving care. It reminds me that during a scary moment, we are never alone, someone is just around to give us tender hug.

Waves please be gentle

Oceans

~ Juan Ramon Jimenez

I have a feeling that my boat
has struck, down there in the depths,
against a great thing.
And nothing
happens! Nothing…Silence…Waves…

–Nothing happens? Or has everything happened,
and are we standing now, quietly, in the new life?

My birthday week recap: Fati and I

The week before this one was super duper busy! Whew, met up with so many loyal and loving friends, all carrying good news of growth and positivity. At night before sleeping, I often think to myself how blessed I am to have such wonderful connections and stable relationships. When all else fails, I know that I shared myself and my life with the most awesome people. These friends constitute my core, I become whole because of them. And on my 26th year, I dedicate this week remembering the past week that made all the difference from my recent birthdays. In this journey of my life, I came to a point when I can say that life is more meaningful because of the genuine connection that we make with friends we meet along the way, no matter how uneasy the terrain and how bumpy the ride. And is it not worth saying that those friends who decide to stay and keep in touch during rough patches deserve our love and care and support from now until that awesome forever?!

So for my 26th year, I celebrate friendship. This is the stuff that life is made of <3

Candles show us the light!

The photo above is Buddha Day at Marikina. I and Fati were holding candles for a prayer for humanity. (May 13, 2012)

Finally Friday

Beautiful interruption.

Learning again and again

My mood was dipping. Feeling very unhappy, I am not actually sure where the mood is coming from. It really puzzles me. Maybe I am again feeling so bad about my failure (s). Feeling lost. Trying to find my self again in this huge universe. I hope one day, I will know where I am going. I hope one day, I will know that I am just doing the right thing. Please, universe make everything fall into place. Praying hard. Keeping the faith.

So I searched for two things that still make me happy: movies and music. I remember Elizabethtown, (it's the same in any language . . .) and its beautiful soundtrack. This helped lift my mood a bit. So, I am sharing this to you my dear friends. May you find spark of warmth and happiness in this piece of jewel.

Well some say life will beat you down,
Break your heart steal your crown
So I've started out for God knows where
I guess I'll know when I get there

Learning to fly/ Tom Petty

Starting anew

Do you ever get that feeling that finally you are validated? That you finally got through? That you have successfully crossed the long and seemingly unending bridge? That somehow an event occurred that led you to  believe that some of the experiments you have been doing are ok and it will eventually yield results? That the process is validated and the results are ripe for harvest? I feel that I am in that moment right now.

A wind has blown the rain away and the sky away and all the 
leaves away and the tree stand. I think I too, have known 
autumn too long. -- e.e. cummings.

Magically, this feeling does not only make me high, it also comes with the push I need. I was like booted out of the pits into a big hall that was out of my reach years before. A golden door beckons, wide and full of possibilities. A  spotlight lit the then dark hall, illuminating the path. THIS IS THE COURSE, UNCHARTED BUT YET IT IS MINE. Here I am, preparing for the long, winding but fulfilling journey.

Lesson learned: I did not know what I was looking for until I found it

welcome home

This is my new hub. This is the little space where from now on I will deposit my thoughts, my feelings, my dreams and my joys. I incubated this idea for a month, maybe because I want it to be more effective.
Out in the real world, there are a number of forces that limit our ideas, our forms of expressions, our real tendencies,  and it worries me that these very forces take away the genuine in us.  Hence, my new hub! 
Well, as the title suggested, Welcome Home! 

So here’s a little gift of warmth to my new home. May it keep me dry and safe from all the rains and snow out there in the great big world.