A rather busy Monday

Such a busy day today in our house. It is not always like this on Mondays since the lockdown, but today seems like a normal busy Monday before lockdown era. It started with me doing a document report for my students, and then parents' breakfast, then mom has a webinar with her workmates, where I should be on standby because she needs a lot of technical assistance, then of course in between, I have to squeeze in house chores. Then after the webinar, my tito came over to bring some stuff we left in our old house, a pile of boxes with lots of books and some Christmas decors. Some of the things look so familiar, and of course one of it was my old envelope filer, there were some old UP stuff inside. What's exciting was finally I located one of my thesis hardbound copy! I was thinking about it months ago because I already have my teaching portfolio in a hardbound copy, it needs to be put next to my UP undergrad thesis hardbound copy but I seem to have lost it somewhere. And today it resurfaced! Amazing!

Aside from my hardbound thesis, I also found some classcards from my UP classes. Haha, my grades were high in these classcards, and I am proud of them. I really had a hard time getting high grades during college because honestly the subjects were difficult. Argh, but I remember being a consistent college scholar and there was a time I was a university scholar too. You will only get that high standing when your total semester average is less than 1.5 or 1.75. But actually I forgot now if those were the correct GWA (general weighted average) for college/university scholar. In our university, 1 is the highest grade and 5 would be the dreaded grade you would like to get from a prof, while 3 would mean that you really did your best, but well not enough to get a dos, but your dignity is still intact, but I am not sure about sanity though.

When I checked these classcards, these were from the classes I loved the most. My professors who gave the grades were Prof Marra Lanot, Prof Nick Tiongson and Prof Joseph Fortin. There are many details in the classcards that will give away what subject and what year the subject was taken and of course, the most important number in any isko or iska, the student number. Upon being admitted to the university, you have to memorize your student number, it is your code, it is your life blood, it is your identity. The first four numbers would be the year you started studying in the university.

Well, after looking at these classcards, I became busy again because I had to help my mom with her phone as there was a council of the elders video call (mom and her sisters.) Funny how the pandemic is shaping our family communication. Anyways, have to wrap up because of many other Monday things to be accomplished. 

End of post.

Dreaming of Chaikhana

First let me just say:

Congratulations for surviving the Ides of March, everyone.

Whew, that was one long weird, exhausting journey! I had been to one of the heaviest hell weeks of my academic life. Struggling to read thick books to finish final papers. I reviewed lots of books amid headaches, dizziness and occasional eye strain for final exams too (which happened last Thursday). So exams came and I was able to answer the questions, tough questions. The exams lasted for 3 hours. But here I am now, recovering slowly but surely.

To celebrate this victory, let me offer a poem: to life, to love, to passion, to all of you reading this, may we all find courage inside our hearts as we move forward in our journey.

The Fountain / Denise Levertov

Don't say, don't say there is no water
to solace the dryness at our hearts.
I have seen

the fountain springing out of the rock wall
and you drinking there. And I too
before your eyes

found footholds and climbed
to drink the cool water.

The woman of that place, shading her eyes,
frowned as she watched -- but not because
she grudged the water,

only because she was waiting
to see we drank our fill and were
refreshed.

Don't say, don't say there is no water.
That fountain is there among its scalloped
green and gray stones,

it is still there and always there
with its quiet song and strange power
to spring in us,

up and out through the rock.

adrift and flowing (ode to free fall)

Feeling unhinged. Have you felt that way when you are holding stack of paper then suddenly the wind blew and the papers just flew up, up, up and out of reach? This is exactly it. Maybe in good times, I would be able to run after the papers but now, I don't know. I would not bother at all. I might just enjoy the innocence of the moment and then let it go.

But thing is, life is full of deadlines. Being realistic means to run and catch the papers before it touch watery surfaces or before it will be forever out of reach. Yeah, I have paper deadline tomorrow, three-page. But why am not doing anything about it? ESCAPE. Ah, I do want to be harsh on myself but please, move it!

And the trouble is I just want to explore my smartphone. Argh, so childish! Haiii ^^

I did not go to work, I had bad headache and I need to finish a paper.
10.28PM
So here I am, my good old Main Lib, ready to take on all my frustrations and failures. Here I go again with my procrastination and self-criticism.

I must change this yea? Mmm, now on to my first page of reaction paper. Must not sleep until I finish this.

Appreciating small victories

Ah good to know I have time to blog tonight. Did someone up there clicked fast forward button to zoom our lives here on earth? Can you feel it too? Like everything is just happening so fast, so furious, simultaneously? That everything just sprouted all too soon? That after one big project in my office, I have to run fast to do presentations of my report in my MA class and that I have to submit papers too since it's midterms already, you see? It's all happening all too soon, all at the same time.

I sometimes have moments of intense pressure that I just cry. That in the middle of work, maybe typing stuff or editing video, it will dawn on me and I cannot stop myself from feeling scared and tired all of a sudden, then tears will trickle down my cheek. Ah, yes, been crying so much lately, I have been running to comfort room to release it all -- tears, fears, anxiety. It must be the heaviness of responsibility  or maybe that I am so tired that I cannot figure out how to work them all out neatly. But I guess it's not just easy, and the point is not doing it neatly but to just do all the task that I am supposed to do, with full concentration. I trust that this focus and concentration will keep me sane through it all.

So I was finally able to report to class this evening, it was a big relief. It was not my hundred percent, but I have to say I did well under pressure. With so little time to prepare, I was able to produce my presentation under an hour whew! The report was not bad at all, I even think they enjoyed it. But what I am after is that they learned a bit from my report. I am relieved. Very much.

After all, during this crazy time, I should learn to appreciate my small victories. It is the wisest thing to do.

So here comes full circle

Stars and dusts
Please help me with time management.

Feeling so dragged down by all my responsibilities.
Need to chill.

Circle. Circle. Ha! Ancient Asian History tomorrow, have to read! Read! Read!

But will read Haruki Murakami first, IQ84, wehehehe ^^

Eureka

The Philosophers' Football Match is a Monty Python sketch depicting a football match in the Olympiastadion at the 1972 Munich Olympics between philosophers representing Greece and Germany. Starring in the sketch are Archimedes (John Cleese), Socrates (Eric Idle), Hegel (Graham Chapman), Nietzsche (Michael Palin), Marx (Terry Jones) and Kant (Terry Gilliam).

Confucius is the referee and keeps times with an hourglass. Thomas Aquinas and St. Augustine (sporting haloes) serve as linesmen.^[1] The German manager is Martin Luther. As play begins, the philosophers ponder their theories while walking on the pitch in circles.^[1] Franz Beckenbauer, the sole genuine footballer on the pitch and a "surprise inclusion" in the German team, is left more than a little confused.

The sketch was performed in the Grünwalder Stadion^{[citation needed]}. It originally featured in the second Monty Python's Fliegender Zirkus episode and was later included in Monty Python Live at the Hollywood Bowl (1982).^[2]

Outcome

Nietzsche receives a yellow card after claiming that Confucius has no free will. Confucius replies, "Name go in book". In the second half, Karl Marx replaces Ludwig Wittgenstein, but does nothing to advance the game. With just over a minute of the match remaining Archimedes cries out "Eureka!", takes the first kick of the ball and rushes towards the German goal. Socrates scores the only goal of the match in a diving header off a cross from Archimedes. As the sketch closes, the Germans dispute the call; "Hegel is arguing that the reality is merely an a priori adjunct of non-naturalistic ethics, Kant via the categorical imperative is holding that ontologically it exists only in the imagination, and Marx is claiming it was offside." The slow-motion replay proves that according to the offside rule that was valid until 1990, Socrates was indeed offside.

Line Up

The names of the Greek philosophers in the line-up are displayed in German in the sketch.

Germany	Greece
Gottfried Leibniz (goalkeeper)	Plato (goalkeeper)
Immanuel Kant	Epictetus
Georg "Nobby" Hegel (capt)	Aristotle
Arthur Schopenhauer	"Chopper" Sophocles
Friedrich Schelling	Empedocles of Acragas
Franz Beckenbauer	Plotinus
Karl Jaspers	Epicurus
Karl Schlegel	Heraklitus
Ludwig Wittgenstein	Democritus
Friedrich Nietzsche	Socrates (capt)
Martin Heidegger	Archimedes
Karl Marx - substituting Wittgenstein in the 2nd half

(Wittgenstein was, of course, Austrian.)

Taken from Wikipedia

And then there is the exam

So I am studying for my exam tomorrow. Whole day. Essay. Mmmm, need to study now.