Time Flies, they were so little before, but now!!!

 

I used to be 'ate' but now I am 'tita' !!!

okay okay, I guess I am really getting older

why are they so tall now?

#bigfamilylunch

Writing Prompt: A Letter from Persephone to her friends (20210615)

Writing Prompt: A Letter from Persephone to her friends

Dear friends,

Time has passed, and it has been a while since I have come back in the above world. It was uneventful, actually. It was just the set-up between the authorities who seem to be in control of my life, which means that I am not really the one behind the wheels when it comes to where I should be in a certain time of the year. I have missed the golden ray of sunrise and the fresh morning breeze, so as much as possible I take them in every single day. I have also missed observing the sky when it is a bright sunny day and the contrast it makes when the clouds are about to pour its water to drench the thirsty soil. The sounds of rain and the wind that comes with it, they are almost a revelation when I get to experience them again here above.

I have been so busy with the everyday affairs in the world that I almost forget to update you. It is a rare chance that I get when I can just sit down and write without interruption. When you have only 6 months in the above world, you have to do almost everything in your power to finish all the tasks given, accomplish all the plans, connect with those who are important and build all that needs to be built. As you can recall, I have 6 months here above and 6 months with him in the underworld. It was a difficult task, actually. To be able to cross the two worlds and dwell in them, it must be very magical and mysterious to the eyes of those un-initiated, but to those few who really understand this, it is full of letting go, little deaths, big deaths and inner conflict, it is like losing yourself again and again to be able to relate fully to the world you are assigned in. It is not only losing yourself, but also you have to build yourself again, in a painfully limited time, hoping each time that you manage to keep the genuine parts of you, that you don’t lose your soul in the process, that you don’t forget the principles of compassion, kindness and selflessness that you built from scratch every single time that you regenerate after losing it all from crossing each world. Do I make sense?

For others it is the death of ego, or the self. The self you painstakingly built from shattered pieces, hoping that the most treasured parts are just near so it is easier to glue them back, but if that is not the case, then you have to spend the day or days not sleeping at all, looking intuitively for that part, which is one of the most difficult part of this endless shattering. Actually, there are times when you don’t know yourself anymore, but that’s worse than death, to just walk aimlessly, just raw blood and flesh, missing the most important parts of you, your heart, your mind, your vision, your senses – it was worse than death, I have to repeat that again and again to make sense, or to finally make sense – yes, indeed there are so many things/situation worse than death. So no matter how painful, one is forced to look for those shattered pieces, losing sleep, losing courage, losing strength, but one must not lose faith. This is one of the most important lessons that I learned in this life, never lose faith.

I apologize that this letter seemed a little heavier and darker than I designed it to be. I would really just like to update you my good friends about the reality of crossing the underworld and the (above) world. Anyways, here I am, writing again, perhaps I can say that I have successfully found some important parts of me, making it possible for me to write about it.

And if anyone is interested, yes he stays in the underworld most of the time because that is his place of reign. But of course, as you are my good friends, I will indulge you with a little secret, he can visit the world from time to time, he is that powerful. Actually, he is very powerful beyond anybody’s imagination. From my very limited knowledge of him, he can do anything he deems necessary. He has infinite ways especially if it is very important to him. I just don’t know if he goes through the same self-shattering when he crosses worlds, but all I can say is that he can be everywhere. In many books and myths, he was said to just stay in his dark kingdom, that’s very true but he can also take some time off from his business in the deep if he has very important things to deal with in the above world.

What is really interesting is that, the more one spends time with him, the more he becomes mysterious and unfathomable. He is prone to escalation and intensity – whether it is about any issue, opinion, idea, everything that he finds amusing. He is a very principled 'man'. Passionate and principled, the mix is truly intoxicating and addicting. There are a lot of them attracted and drawn to him, who can truly resist that kind of 'man'?

Well, I have to cut this letter short. I have lots of things to deal with today. Please stay safe and healthy.

Love,

Persephone

 

A rather busy Monday

Such a busy day today in our house. It is not always like this on Mondays since the lockdown, but today seems like a normal busy Monday before lockdown era. It started with me doing a document report for my students, and then parents' breakfast, then mom has a webinar with her workmates, where I should be on standby because she needs a lot of technical assistance, then of course in between, I have to squeeze in house chores. Then after the webinar, my tito came over to bring some stuff we left in our old house, a pile of boxes with lots of books and some Christmas decors. Some of the things look so familiar, and of course one of it was my old envelope filer, there were some old UP stuff inside. What's exciting was finally I located one of my thesis hardbound copy! I was thinking about it months ago because I already have my teaching portfolio in a hardbound copy, it needs to be put next to my UP undergrad thesis hardbound copy but I seem to have lost it somewhere. And today it resurfaced! Amazing!

Aside from my hardbound thesis, I also found some classcards from my UP classes. Haha, my grades were high in these classcards, and I am proud of them. I really had a hard time getting high grades during college because honestly the subjects were difficult. Argh, but I remember being a consistent college scholar and there was a time I was a university scholar too. You will only get that high standing when your total semester average is less than 1.5 or 1.75. But actually I forgot now if those were the correct GWA (general weighted average) for college/university scholar. In our university, 1 is the highest grade and 5 would be the dreaded grade you would like to get from a prof, while 3 would mean that you really did your best, but well not enough to get a dos, but your dignity is still intact, but I am not sure about sanity though.

When I checked these classcards, these were from the classes I loved the most. My professors who gave the grades were Prof Marra Lanot, Prof Nick Tiongson and Prof Joseph Fortin. There are many details in the classcards that will give away what subject and what year the subject was taken and of course, the most important number in any isko or iska, the student number. Upon being admitted to the university, you have to memorize your student number, it is your code, it is your life blood, it is your identity. The first four numbers would be the year you started studying in the university.

Well, after looking at these classcards, I became busy again because I had to help my mom with her phone as there was a council of the elders video call (mom and her sisters.) Funny how the pandemic is shaping our family communication. Anyways, have to wrap up because of many other Monday things to be accomplished. 

End of post.

Small measures

Sometimes, I just want to be a normal daughter, someone that my mom and dad expected me to be, but then again, I cannot and most importantly I am not. I really believe that there is nothing wrong with me, that I am just really a normal woman/daughter, but for them, I am terribly rebellious. Aside from that, for them I am taking a lot of time to get settled, like any other normal woman should be around this time of their lives. Perhaps they picture me to have my own family where I get to have a husband and children, in my own house having my own career. They have been pushing me before and even until now, but not so much as forceful push as years ago, now, they have the wisdom to just gently ask me about my long-term plans. I used to resent those times when they sit me down for their unsolicited advise, why would they push me into a mold that I am not made to fit? I don't really understand that. 

They must be really just after my own good, but by that principle, don't they realize that they are imposing their own view of life on me? Don't they realize that I have my very own view of life and that I know how I should live it as I see fit. Maybe I sometimes fail to see where they are coming from, but do they even take time to find out where I am coming from?

I have my stubborn streak, yes I know and that's a valid observation. I also realize what having 'own family' means. I see my old classmates settle in their own houses, with their spouse and kids. I sometimes think that's good, they know what they want from life. That's good, they really have the long-term goal set for them in their lives. But it is not how I see my life. It is not what I want in my life. 

However, not wanting to have the 'normal life' doesn't necessarily mean to have no long-term goal. Oh I really beg to disagree because I have a lot of long-term plans in my life. I have goals for the long haul. 

I just really want my parents to see that I am doing fine even if I have different goals in life. That I am a caring and a loving daughter even though I would rather spend more time observing and exploring than settling down. Besides, since I am single I have more time to devote to them, don't they see it? Don't they see the benefit of having me in their house and that I can be wherever they want me to be because I don't have my 'own family' that I may need to prioritize over them. I just hope they appreciate my role for them from time to time because it is also exhausting, but of course, I won't ever give up on them because they are my parents. I know they deserve more from me but I do really try to provide it, even though it may come in small measures.

Of family and friends

 

The photos above were taken on 2016 November, our group climbed Mt Purro Nature Reserve. I missed scaling mountains. According to our guide, it rained the night before so the land was not that solid but still we pushed on and eventually we reached the top!

These ones were taken in Boracay, 2016 March. I want to swim and swim and swim again. Until I am reddish again, like the one in the picture. I want to be an island girl again. Near the surf, the white sand. I miss the summer sky, bright blue and clear.

  

  

These random pictures were taken from 2012, we were so young then. And we visited a lot of places and we had a lot of time in our hands. When can we do these again? Sooner please.

With co-teachers in Batangas Resort

We watched Bituing Walang Ningning the Musical

Sagada ❤️

Sunken Garden Picnic ❤️

Family Baguio Visit Photos

Christmas time Baguio visit

Enjoying our strawberry ice cream

PMA

PMA

Baguio view

Today, no words, just pictures. 

When can we all go out and spend time with friends and families again? 

Soon, sooner, soonest.

In transit

These past weekends I found my travelling bag very helpful as I leave the city for greener fields in the province. During the whole of April, all of my weekends are not in the safe confines of QC house bedroom, but some are in the familiar grounds of my parents' house and some are in resort, in a farm, in a blockmates' house or in the sala sofa of Cavite house.

All in all, my summer is full of adventures. I have been out of my routine (work, studies, home) for two months now. Although some days I am haunted by the blues, but most of the days I am actually getting used to it and loving it - life without pattern, just going to places I have never explored yet, learning about nature, meeting old friends, knowing new people and adding new lessons and reflections in my little life. The adventures I engaged myself into pushed me into places and situations that are not part of my usual routine: I will find myself lost in the blue ocean waves, or surfing the telly in cavite house. Or on top of sky eye or feeding koi fish!

Enjoying the farm house
TUWA the Laughing Fish Nueva Ecija

Alahbiga resort
Laiya, Batangas

Ronald, Febbie and I inside Sky Eye capsule
Tagaytay

There, some of the best weekends of 2013 so far. I have to congratulate myself, I am getting better at packing my bags and travelling stuff. I wonder where my stars will bring me next weekend!

Anyways, another batch of pictures who I spent my month with.

Mom and Dad waving
Calamba, Laguna family swimming

Dinner with Lauren, Pao, Sa, Mae
Friuli

Mom and dad and our house and a cat
Cavite house

Although Calamba swimming deserves another blog post, I included a picture of mom and dad enjoying the summer sun between mountain and swimming pool. They are my travel buddies and picture subjects during this summer break.

Although 'in transit' is just a state of having moved from a source point to reach the other point or a destination, I still find the whole experience very valuable. And this is just the middle of summer!

Of living alone and procrastination

Oh well here it's Christmas again, done with all the holiday shopping, endured the heavy traffic and survived long lines at the mall. And these experiences are all blown away by my immediate issue -- trying to live alone. My thoughts stray towards independence. Just how hard will it be if I just choose to live alone? Far from the familiar surroundings of every day existence? From the usual jeepney route? Maybe difficult at first but am sure its doable.

Which brings me to the next point - saving up. I read somewhere that expenses should just be 30% maximum of what one earns, mmm, so there. Oh well I am procrastinating, should be doing my paper right now but I just can't think of what to write yet, argh :(

Oh well after five minutes of staring at the screen, nada . . . and then I see my mom's traditional fruit salad just sitting peacefully inside our crowded ref now I can't help but be the 8-year-old version of myself, weee, Christmas is here ^^

Tita Oset's wedding (25th anniversary renewal of vows)

At Crowne Regency Hotel 

Me and my cousin

Tita Oset and I

Me, Tita Oset and Tita Anabelle (Matron of Honor)

The wedding!

The bride and groom